Then go here because while it is brutal, its also just, I don't know, both are brutal in their humor, I guess the humor is right up my alley, and to me its a breath of fresh air. But thats just me. Actually look around whitehouse.org because it is all pretty good.

So, yeah, I haven't been around for a while. Mostly, because, like I told Sezzy, most of my entries would have sounded the same. This one, so you'll be warned, will not be too different. This week has been shitty in an existential crisis sort of way that I haven't experienced since the year after college.

Two bright spots: I saw Erica and Lee on their last leg of their American tour in New York City, where we painted the town up in style. Also we had a uniquely New Yory experience, well sort of. We went down to Chinatown to grab some grub, and Erica and Lee got the Vegetable Lo Mein or smething, some vegetavle dish, well Erica's had a special side on it: a cockroach! No shit, it was like an inch long and staring at us. This fucked up part, besides the bug, was that the place despite their apologies still tried to charge us for dinner, we paid for the hot and sour soup we had, but its not like we were going to eat anything else there. I was really surprised. Isn't that like a restaurant's worst nightmare to find something like that? We hightailed it out of there up to one of Erica's old NYU haunts and then we scampered about tow. Ending up in one of my old haunts, actually a couple of them, a bar I used to go to, andn all night diner I used to frequent when I went to Fordham. I spent so much money on the jukebox at the bar, it was some new fangled one that could go "online" somehow and find songs, it was awesome, so I spent a lot of money on that.

And the other thing is I managed to get two tickets to go see the Pixies in Chicago in November. I am psyched about that. I would invite all of you but there are only two, and Jef is coming with me. Oh man, that will be the jam.

Now people can stop reading this part, because it is going to seem really repetative and I apologize for that. But all this week I haven't been able to talk to anyone, mostly because I feel like an ass if they are in a relationship or something, and I don't think people want to hear about my bullshit. Because it has happened throughout history for eons and eons, its not like it makes me unique in some way. But this week, for some reason, maybe it was because my weekend wa sso nice, but this week has just been really shitty. And its not because anything actually happened to me. I find myself getting jealous, I get jealous of my best friend because he broke up with his girlfriend and he has been moving on and meeting new people and moving and all that. And thats just a shitty thing for me to be jealous of, I also don't want to be that friend that tries to bring others down because I am not in the best of spirits, so its not like I would bring it up to him. I don't know, I feel alone, I feel like all my other friends are hours away, which they are. I wish there was some definite time line for getting over someone and transforming into being friends with them, but, of course there is not. Its just one of those things. I am not sure hwere to turn. I know I need to find some place else to live, but I feel sort of hamstringed because I need to stay at the radio station for a while before I try to move to another one and I can't figure out where to go to around here. Its not like I live in New York, or Boston or even Providence. But I need to save my money anyway, and I am just getting antsy. Everything feels different, and I don't quite know what to do with myself, as the song goes. I am not in a good palce and I can't figure out how to change that. I need to do something different or go somewhere different....I don't know. It just feels....shitty. For lack of a better word. Ups and downs, I suppose. Fuck, sorry abbout this.

Real quick, can I also join Gump and just say Fuck Friends. I am not being reactionary either, the show sucks and is unfunny. I watched it a little in high school, and the show has honestly made me laugh 2 times, 3 if I am feeling generous. What piece of shit, good riddance.